Hi,
What you could use for that problematic is the "reminder" plugin:
www.hikashop.com/marketplace/product/241-reminder-plugin.html
You can configure it to send an email to the customer after X days after a cart has not been touched by the customer and an order has not been created by the customer in the mean time.
Once you have that setup, you can edit the cart notification email via the menu System>Emails and enter your email address in the BCC field in order to receive a copy of the email.
And if you want to replace the email address so that it sends the email to you only, you can add such code in the email preload:
$data->user->user_email = "This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.";